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The Ocean

by Denny Andros

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1.
bread loaves iced coffee and scones are all that i know the rest all unknown impossibly sore in all of your bones it's easy to judge love on credit and loan sticks stones are breaking our bones as if they already know truth's contextual so swing low sweet chariot you float in on cold waves you think i don't notice the details are all i can hold onto i crashed on the shore not to settle no score to save myself from the deep to the world i do implore oh i wanna know home i was never your home but to that i admit i made you my home slept in your old couches and did all the dishes stripped the bed and laundry every morning old me a dowdy lawn gnome all dunce cap and old wares singin bout my old terrors the tune of the tome now i'm finally six foot i'm never at home i wanna know home your body half submerged in a summer pond life became so different you're bulking i'm cold you chainsmoke i cool wait the other way you're boy and i'm shook i'm climbing vines you're tilling dark land you say you have nothing to say i think that's a lie that's okay too many appointments anyway invading your home i wanna know home i want you to have a good home i'm sorry
2.
o how i wish i were a sailor a sailor who sailed the ocean blu i would row thru the night i would scan every coast just to steal a silent glimpse of you, o how i wish i were a sailor who sailed the ocean blu o how i wish i were a climber a climber who climbed a mountain high i would scale all its peaks just to scream out ur name and anxiously await ur reply how i wish i were a climber who climbed a mountain high o how i wish i retired a miner a miner who mined beneath the earth i would pick rock away and save gems for the day i could say how much ur love is worth how i wish i were a miner how i wish i were a climber how i wish i were a sailor and do u love me? do u love me? do u love me? do u love me? do u love me like i know that i love u how i wish we were some sailors, let's sail the ocean blu i'd rather do with no one but u
3.
Guppy 02:22
tiny guppy chomping algae tiny guppy you traverse this deep ole blu while your mother plays her hat tricks, you remove the silver spoon in hispana, strike the mambo dance the cool you always do, you always do write me letters i won't respond to send me texts i won't respond to write me letters as i howl at the moon can you hear me tiny guppy i think i mighta lost my head for a minute or two but if you forgive me, well you know i don't hafta forgive you peel an orange lock the door on just whatever troubles you the undertoe takes all that you make and i take it from the beach i'm in time-out and i feel fine about all the things i couldn't read or do O Nadine kill me with kindness Though i know that's not your name but you've changed just how i've changed just how the sea is never tame
4.
we summered out in Crete kissed drunk to Fur Elise In such specific ways you made my days but I'm stopping short of just wanting to play the game I'd like to hold you tight thru every quaking night but just unlike the way you'd like as a soulmate i am your man but as your lover i realize i'm damned i can't go back to the way i was and i've doubled back a thousand times because you're too good to be true and in my body and soul i knew when the siren sounds you can't always trust the tune i won't let you go, by golly i'll let you be
5.
in sort've a funny way i used to think myself untamed until my sentence got commuted now you haven't thought a scotch the same it took eons just to trust my gut now you don't trust me all the same and i can't read your mind, know what you want or why, but i can damn well try, i'm not ashamed uncanny valley 'cause we're not buddies anymore
6.
The Ocean 06:30
the whites of your eyes, salt wicked from the ocean to get my money right, penance in the ocean and when i kiss you slow, hellbent on devotion it's hard to tell at times if this is just the ocean in every lurid blue, sloshing waves of ocean of every tired coo, windswept off the ocean and in this cottage home, feeling every notion no map could ever do, charting deep the ocean run free if you want to be mean if you have to can't breathe, seafoam behooeves you let me be let me be Elstelz taught me that ready or not when you send it, gotta send it all the way to the top and when you get to the top, well do prepare for the drop 'cause when you sink you're gonna drown a little ready or not in the morning we're married by evening we're engaged when the night comes, we kiss like it's the third date a million times around the sun you'd still be a coke and pop rocks reprobate in a person you're good feeling good feelings i don't ever wanna change you're the drowsy morning sun over the bay to be honest you scare me though i lay down on freeways when i'm drowning all the traffic does is stop to say: "if you spoke just what you felt then maybe, then things would finally go your way" but your freedom's nearly treason when your actions effect everything you're a butterfly beating your wings away when you date a drug user you're dating drugs when you date a lover you're dating hugs if you kiss an academic, expect a grade you're just a drop in the ocean and it's all the same
7.
hey salty i dip my feet into the wake barnacles and algae i don't know how much more of this life i can take i'm lonely, blu ocean could you love me now? look, I've combed my hair I'm a clumsy mollusk I'm soft like a hare hey salty it's all so make believe to me and i'm lonely, blu ocean
8.
stayed up until morning eating chocolate cake angelic and soaring and a place to rest my feet stayed up until morning folding paper planes angelic and soaring and a place to rest my feet
9.
Au Revoir 04:53
tho i feel i'm now deserving real problems, they're real unnerving yes, all i need to do yes, all i need to do yes, all i need to do yes, all i need to do and i know you're always lowly but i can't help feeling lonely when all we do is you yes, all we do is you yes, all we do is you yes all we do is you there's nothing i could say to make you trust me and i spend a natural moment away, and you combust me, hey i've never asked a thing and at once you deplore me act like i never cared like you don't even know me you set an expectation that i can't reach at times if we decide-- i mean, you just decide to act and think as you do and then you turn around and act like i perpetually owe you we've run our course you can't comprehend me living for myself a dynamic birthed so mutually your canvas doll on your study's shelf i watched you in your armchair refusing help, in degrading health some nights you'd be so drunk you'd scuffle up all my seams and because i was your doll, i had no mouth with which to scream you compromised my every thought i lived in fear that i'd be lost like it could be the only path i'd ever stand to walk you deserve love, yes, but i do too i don't retract a single thing i ever gave to you but you wouldn't acknowledge it anywho the dissonance of thinking bottled water is morning dew i gave it all my very very very best but you trash it when i try, so i'll give you a rest to my gale-force sigh, to your extreme behest to one another as pals in truth, we ain't the best au revoir get clean, get out of there i think you know not what you do i want you to think on how it's always been it's always others who hurt ya, somehow never you
10.
i told him i'm in love i told him i'm ashamed a pedigree of bitterness, attachment to self blame and where you're headed boy i may never see but i can live happy if you're living what you need and i am not let down, i will sleep in peace dreaming of the laughter that we shared in quads and streets and when you hear this song will you think of me in a way that's okay and allows us still to breathe
11.
how would life look to me if i crossed ocean like Earhart crossed the breeze there lives a theory out there that maintains Amelia found an atoll, a strip of sand a mile wide she crash-landed her plane that mythic day she gave herself away she knew she'd be dust someday her soul remained her own in the shoal of civilization she found her way some say they heard her on HAM radio some few days after Amelia disappeared above the sea nibbling the rations of her golden tin was she Icarus or Sisyphus i've been thinking that she's prolly neither, that's my spin reflecting on her life, dehydrated, slow dance transponder lights tiptoed crabs asleep in wreckage laid infinity came one night, folded her into its arms, and said: "You've done so well, i'm so proud of you, i love you so much, this is what i'll do-- you hold my hand, i'll lift you off this sand 'cause you ambitions touched no other mortal man Amelia, you guardian, you did your best, and you do what you can it's always good enough and that's what made life grand and they'll remember you as an immortal gem you lived for you you took advantage, despite it all you somehow managed now you're stuck on coral in the deep blue sea but it was all so worth it, now come back to me."

credits

released February 21, 2020

Judge Russell - vocals/guitar/lyrics on track 6
Edan Kamara - vocals/guitar/lyrics on track 6

Made by Hayden

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